He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
honey bunches of taint.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
