What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize