it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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