I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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