absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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