so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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