Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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