i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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