I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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