He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
