Me. At least after what I've been through.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
