My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
