yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i out mim tonsoeep
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