How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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