i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
