No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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