Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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