A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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