Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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