Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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