Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She even gives head with a lisp.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
