he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
