Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
