im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
