i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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