I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
