just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
