mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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