She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
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He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
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Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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