awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
