I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
