i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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