Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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