How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
