Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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