I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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