sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
