Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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