? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
