it was like his penis was on wheels.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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