I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize