I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize