You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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