who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
