Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He did a backflip because drugs
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