don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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