Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
