Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
