Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
false alarm, still single
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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