they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
