She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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