I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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