dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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