turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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