you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
