To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
