the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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