I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
