He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
