But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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