Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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