Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
