I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
