I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
