Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
